I can't let you do that, Dave

Automated voice recognition menu systems piss me off. I'm calling the automatic menu system because I want to hear the options available and pick one, without having to announce what I'm doing to the rest of the office. If I have to speak into the phone, I want there to be a human on the other end, so that I can speak a full sentence and have it recognized. I especially don't want to read my phone number into the phone when there's a perfectly good keypad right there.

My response to hearing a friendly computer voice say "please tell me about your problem" or something similar is to hammer the zero button repeatedly. And to continue doing so until there is a person on the other end. Or a dial tone. Either suits me just fine at that point.

It might also be fun to talk nonsense to one of them, and record that conversation. One of these times I'll start feeding it one-liners from Star Trek. I wonder how Verizon's menu system would react to being told to arm quantum torpedoes and fire at will?

I feel a Rickroll coming on ....